We all get cute e-mails. Some funny stories. Some funny, cute stories that, while obviously creative fiction, could very well be true.
By the way. I get tired. Tired of government waste. Waste means that it costs me--and YOU--lotsa tax dollars. I'd like to thank the Navy SEAL who, no doubt, was thinking of my tax bill when he used just two rounds...one to the chest, a second to the head...avoiding an expensive confinement for bin Laden, and a lavish trial at some point in the distant future. Efficient. I like that.
Bear with me. I'm like Matlock. I'm getting around to tying all of this together.
Story is about a cowboy. I just love the common-sense cowboys out there. Hard working. Steak and beans guys. Simple, but efficient.
Story goes that a cowboy, minding his own business....
well, enough of that. I'll just paste from an e-mail from another common sense friend of mine, a retired state trooper:
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote Pasco pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many
cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where
he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an
ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.
(Note...it could have been from every administration since The Buck Stops Here Harry Truman)
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked.
You used millions of tax dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
Now give me back my dog.
By the way. I get tired. Tired of government waste. Waste means that it costs me--and YOU--lotsa tax dollars. I'd like to thank the Navy SEAL who, no doubt, was thinking of my tax bill when he used just two rounds...one to the chest, a second to the head...avoiding an expensive confinement for bin Laden, and a lavish trial at some point in the distant future. Efficient. I like that.
Bear with me. I'm like Matlock. I'm getting around to tying all of this together.
Story is about a cowboy. I just love the common-sense cowboys out there. Hard working. Steak and beans guys. Simple, but efficient.
Story goes that a cowboy, minding his own business....
well, enough of that. I'll just paste from an e-mail from another common sense friend of mine, a retired state trooper:
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote Pasco pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many
cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where
he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an
ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.
(Note...it could have been from every administration since The Buck Stops Here Harry Truman)
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked.
You used millions of tax dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
Now give me back my dog.
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