TSA..."where the stupid started"

TSA: Those Stoopid Arses.
I can't think of a better description. Things have really gotten out of hand. Common sense has disappeared. It's been replaced by TSA inspectors.

Granted, some sort of action had to be taken to safeguard this country from increasingly cunning terrorists who want to kill us. Yep. That's the bottom line, they want to KILL us. Not because we're at war. Just because we are us.

In the process of protecting us, the government came up with Homeland Security.
Not a bad idea, I suppose.

And, they gave the Coast Guard, which had been part of the US Department of Justice, a role in protecting our shorelines from these guys who want to KILL us. Sure seems like the shores are safe from invasion. The Coasties are taking their jobs seriously. And, from all reports, professionally. No groping.

That was one part of the plan.

The plan has evolved over the past decade. We have airport security guards. TSA inspectors. Those men and women who are charged with making sure none of us board an airplane with nail clippers or anything else that could be used as a "weapon" to take over a plane and crash it into the White House, or another high profile target, creating another 9-11 tragedy.

Ok, so far, so good. 

Really? 

It's true that any half-trained US (and many foreign) commando can pretty much use anything as a weapon. That includes even those little plastic knives, forks and spoons we get on planes. In fact, there are non-metallic composite daggers and knives that have been sold all over the world, claiming they can't be detected by metal screeners. And, it's true. These weapons can be driven through a 2x4 with a hammer. I know. I bought two and tried them out. As part of a story I was preparing when I was a TV journalist.

But, was anything done to stop the production and sale of these devices? Of course not. Homeland Securty, with it's wide range of super-powers, took no action.

They did step up the screening process at airports.

They continue to confiscate nail clippers and bottles of shampoo, mouthwash, and the like. In large quantities. You might not be aware that this contraband is later sold. Yep, I have bought some of it at flea markets. Got a couple really neat multi-purpose screwdriver/pliers tools for a buck each. Never found any good deals on any bombs or guns they seized, though.

Now surfaces the story of a group of heavily armed US soldiers coming home. On a civilian plane, which is often the practice.
The "cleaned up" version:

>> As the Chalk Leader (this is the guy who handles on-board logistics for the troops) for my flight home from Afghanistan , I witnessed the following:
>>
>> When we were on our way back from Afghanistan , we flew out of Baghram
>> Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no
>> groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards.
>> Our first stop was Shannon , Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to
>> stop at Indianapolis , Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the
>> Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started.
>>
>> First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane
>> wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than
>> let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to
>> a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a
>> male/female latrine.
>>
>> It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons.
>> Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also
>> carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of
>> course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo
>> well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.
>>
>> The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload
>> all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected.
>> Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by
>> U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a
>> one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area,
>> the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again:
>> Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected,
>> reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever.
>> So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.
>>
>> This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were
>> carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying
>> pistols.
>>
>> So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had
>> his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it
>> gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a
>> pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that
>> they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went
>> something like this:
>>
>> TSA Guy: You can't take those on the plane.
>>
>> Soldier: What? I've had them since we left country.
>>
>> TSA Guy: You're not suppose to have them.
>>
>> Soldier: Why?
>>
>> TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.
>>
>> Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a
>> weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.
>>
>> TSA Guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't
>> have bullets.
>>
>> Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?
>>
>> TSA Guy: [awkward silence]
>>
>> Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get ... out of here. I'll buy you a new set.
>>
>> Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]
>> To top it off, the tsa demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive
>> residue" detection. Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from
>> a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who
>> ... is hiring these people?
>>
>> This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233
>> people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine
>> guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon. 
>> Can someone please tell me: What ... happened to OUR country while
>> we were gone?

I wish I could answer that one, Soldier. Seems somebody got a bad case of the stupid. I guess one way of reducing unemplyment is to hire additional TSA inspectors. It would be interesting to look over the backgrounds of those they hire.  I'll bet that the ones that didn't make it through screening are a really strange breed.

Keep in mind, as you're being groped next time you're flying out of an airport, that TSA has not profiled anyone on the plane with you. But, you're perfectly safe because no one is armed with nail clippers or deadly mouthwash (having flown with some oddball co-passengers in close quarters over the years, I really wish Homeland Security would actually force them to use mouthwash AND deodorant).